I don't know what it is with this summer, but it's pounding me and everyone I know; and will continue right up to the bitter end, apparently.
Just got a note from the lady who traded birds with me. Her husband may have cancer in his pelvic bone; he's going for a consult with an oncologist down south this week to find out. Just another little blip on the shockingly long sick, dying, comatose and dead list for me and my friends this summer. =(
Besides the obvious horrific implications for both of them, it means they will likely have to rehome all their birds, including my cockatiels. I'll help or I'll take them back and try to regroup. That sucks in all kinds of ways for all of us. Just makes me feel that much shittier for having given them up to begin with... and this man just loves them so much! I guess I will focus on the fact that he feels good about where his little Senegal went and he's enjoying my tiels, so if he has to suffer then at least this exchange made it a little better for him for awhile.
Then this teaching thing is making me crazy. I've decided to do it, but I really don't know if that's the best decision. Without a crystal ball it's just impossible to know what's best to do. I decided that if fate was going to frigging pound me over the head with this then I'd better take notice. People in the field are telling me that it's really hard to break into teaching right now, especially without experience (I see you Donna!) and I do want to teach eventually. AR is promising to do everything he can to support me and I am working out how I can get most of the prep done before the winter term begins so maybe it will only be the stage fright and grading that will be left. I'm still really freaked about it though, because I am just NOWHERE on my dissertation and somehow I have to turn that around and get it finished in a year's time.
Damn the stinking comprehensive exam that ate up a whole month this summer! I can't say the same for my parents, they needed my help, and my friend's daughter certainly didn't choose to have a heart attack, so I can't complain about that either. Oh hell... life just goes like that sometimes. I hope it means there'll be some smooth water coming soon. I can't envision what that might look like, But I'm hopeful.
I have three and a half weeks left before school starts and I've done all four essays, tallied all my hours and am almost done filling out the APPI. I've updated my CV, though it needs more revisions. I'm pretty sure I passed my comps and I'll have all the practicum hours required for graduation by the time school starts or shortly thereafter. So I guess I've made decent progress in quite a few areas even if my dissertation is a void. I put on APPI that the proposal will be done at the end of the fall term. Now I just have to find some way to make that come true, despite the fact that I will have an empirically validated therapy methods class with an absolutely enormous research paper and another forensic/law one that I suspect will be seriously demanding as well.
I really just want to curl up in a ball and suck my thumb.
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9 comments:
That just sucks about the bird guy. Damn, it's been a nasty summer, hasn't it?
If you want to teach, you'll have to take advantage of this opportunity. It's near impossible to get into the field, believe me, so anything you can do to help get your foot in the door, you'll have to do. Especially in your general area, there are lots of people that retire there who have tons of experience teaching. You'd be going against them if you tried to get a job in your area and they would win every time. So...anything you can do, go for it.
I hope, at some point, you can get going on your dissertation. Since you're done with the practicum hours, that will help, I think. Still, all the time and energy that it takes to do the damn thing - I think I would be about ready to curl up in a corner, too.
Donna
Thanks Donna, I know you're right.
As of today it's a done deal, I just have to go fill out the paperwork. I'm actually kind of excited about it now that the decision is made!
Could you please point me back to this post when the breakdown happens?
Just don't go reading the Rate Your Students blog or that will ruin all hope for decent students ;)
Donna
I won't, Donna. I have had many delightful classmates, and I am, of course, a WONDERFUL student myself. =) Therefore I am certain there will be lots of fantastic students in my class. HA!
There will be at least one rotten apple though, there always is, no?
The main thing I want to shut out of my consciousness is the knowledge that the school has had a terrible time getting people to teach this testing course, allegedly because Masters students don't like testing courses since they don't do any testing...
Keep that thought ;)
Donna
Damn it, hit the "publish" button early!
I think the reason that so many schools make the Master's students take the testing classes is that maybe they are trying to encourage them to continue their education in their doctorate program (and perhaps make more money off of them)? Wouldn't surprise me at all.
Donna
In my setting MFTs are constantly seeing the results of psych evals and are part of the treatment team with Psychologists and psychiatrists. That means understanding what tests measure and being able to understand reports is important. In private practice it's quite likely an MFT would have a client who had been tested for this or that and being able to understand the report is again important. I think all mental health professionals should have a firm grasp of testing... and also, you can administer and score tests at the masters level, you just can't interpret them, so it's a career option, too!
I don't know where you get the energy to do all of this. I find teaching takes up a lot of time, but can be rewarding when students start to get excited about the material.
Psychgrad, backatcha! I know that most grad students are either on teaching or research assistantships, so got to thinking what the hell my problem was. If people like you can do it all the way through, why the heck can't I manage one, 9 week course? What a whiner I am! :)
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