Taking a deep breath

Seems like the weekend has been a series of feeling sick to my stomach moments and feeling really good moments. The former happen every time I think about my internship, which is not good. Last week I took half an Atavan two days in a row to take the edge off my anxiousness. That's a big deal for me because I've never used psych meds and for anxiety in particular I work really hard to meditate, breathe, exercise, be mindful and all that good stuff. I have these from back in December when I had a panic attack, but I never did use them. I have found I can take one at night and I will not only sleep well, I won't dream about the negative stuff that's gone on all day and wake up already freaked out about the coming day. Then half a pill keeps me a little more relaxed at work. I don't want to do this regularly though, and I'm hoping that if I can just get a good week or two under my belt, where I do well enough that P stays off my back, I'll regain my confidence and be able to move past this.

My other half has almost finished his itouch/iphone game and it's due for release in 2 weeks. He's had some setbacks, but is definitely now in the home stretch. The publisher is supposed to deposit money in our account tomorrow. Woo Hoo!! I alpha tested the game yesterday and was muy impresionado. Wow!!! I think it's going to take the app store by storm. =)

My sister's maladies have finally been identified. They are very scary, but amazingly have not had the more dire side effects the doctors say should have been inevitable. It's a huge relief for her to know the cause of her distressing symptoms, and now she can focus on taking care of the causal problems. So that's my three horrors resolved. Mom is not much better, but no worse. Entree is a veritable energizer rabbit; though a slower, skinnier one now. And my sis is going to be ok. Whew!! Oh, and another thing came along... my sister's dog tested positive for heartworm, but she's finishing up her first week of treatment and doing well.

Anyway, I am BOUND AND DETERMINED to be UP UP UP and not let this stuff trigger a depressive episode. It takes alot of conscious distraction, but heck, if I ask my patients to do this then I should be committed to practicing what I preach, right? LOL! My inlaws are coming some time next week... they're quite ambiguous about exactly when since they're driving down from the Great White North. I have lots of house prep to get ready for them, so that's a good thing to keep my mind occupied. No idea if I'll get to spend any time with them since it looks like they'll probably be here late on Sunday. It's a really bad time for both AR and me to have company, but we'll make the best of it because it happens so rarely!

Hope all my fellow bloggers are having a good weekend and good student experiences. This group has helped each other through so much... I want my regulars to know how very much I appreciate their support! And the irregulars, too. You all count. =)