Friday, January 04, 2008

Hit me, Dealer!

I want another hand; I don't like the cards I have.

2007 sucked in so many ways, for me and for many of my friends and relatives. I was hoping things would improve this year, but I'm off to a dismal start. Entrée had his echocardiogram yesterday and it was just what the vet said it would be, but worse than he expected. They can see clots in his very enlarged atrial chamber. The end is very near and likely to be very painful. The worst is that he can go from a happy, active camper to miserable and paralyzed in the hind end in seconds and we have no idea when or where it might happen.

I start back to school next Thursday and I'm terrified he will have the final attack when I'm away. It's a dark, rainy day and my mood matches the weather. Somehow my Rorschach and Neuropsych reading isn't very interesting today and life seems rather empty and bleak. Entrée is restless and irritable, but he wants lots of attention, so we've been giving him all he asks.

His first attack didn't seem to be painful. Please send all your prayers and good energy his way in hopes that the final episode will be fast, painless and AR and I will both be there to help him the rest of the way.

6 comments:

Di Di said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Entree. This is my nightmare -- I know that I will almost certainly outlive my cat, and the idea of watching my baby die is so devastating I can't let myself think about it. But I try to remember that I'm giving her the best life that I can give her, and that in a way it's noble to adopt an animal when you know that caring for him or her will inevitably lead to grief one day... if we weren't willing to make that sacrifice we couldn't give them everything we give them in their lives. I'll be thinking about you and wishing the best for Entree.

Mamabeek said...

Thank you for the kind thoughts and support, di di. Entree packs every moment with so much LIFE that even an hour is worth giving him if we can finagle one without pain for him via medication. The vet was discouraging about all the meds except the blood thinners, but I'm doing everything I can.

The hardest thing is to make this about him and not me. HE wants to be free to come and go as he pleases and I want to lock him down and watch him every moment. I'm trying to find some happy medium where he will get the very best quality out of what time he has left but he won't be alone when the end comes. After almost 8 years as a country cat who prowls the hillsides (we live on acreage) how can I not let him die on the same terms he's lived? All the choices are rotten. I'm hoping against hope he'll die in his sleep, on the end of the bed. No vet trip and no coyotes.

PG said...

I am very sorry to hear about Entrée. I agree with what Di Di said - you have given him the opportunity to live a very good life. He is very lucky to have such a caring owner. I hope that he can live out the rest of his life without pain.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I am really very sorry about Entree. That would be really hard to go through. I will be thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts and energy.

Polar Bear said...

I'm very sorry to hear about Entree. I will hope and pray that it wont come to a painful end.

Donna said...

Aw damn, poor kitty :( I just hope he doesn't have a lot of pain. It's awful when that happens.