Things you don't see coming

I am visiting my parents this week, as it is my mother's 84th birthday tomorrow. This morning there was a message on my voice mail that had come in yesterday and taken awhile to register on my phone. I was suprised to see it was the counseling center where I did my Masters practicum and they said the call was urgent. That seemed odd since I just wrapped up my last case a week ago and had nothing pending except an upcoming doctoral practicum at the same site, but why would that be urgent?

So I called... and oh how I wish I could fix time a moment before that phone call. They told me my supervisor died. Even after a day to let it trickle in I still can't get my mind around it. I spoke to her just a week ago and intended to call her Tuesday to tell her how my last session went and set up a time to fill out the last of my paperwork. She'd just filled out this enormous (19 pages!) baseline evaluation for me as a requirement to qualify for a doctoral practicum and gave me an outstanding eval. It just can't be real that she's ceased to exist, just like that. **Poof!**

At this point noone knows what she died of. She didn't show up for her clinical committee meeting Monday and then missed two client appointments and didn't answer her phone. The agency didn't have her physical address on file, just a PO box, but one of the other therapists who is a friend of hers went over to her house... and found her. Can you imagine being the one to find your friend? I know shewould have liked that it was this person who went to her, but what a horrible shock.

My supervisor was an LCSW and I think she was nearing 80 years old. She was very active, sharp and had a wonderful, ascerbic wit. The kind of dry wit that goes over most heads and a gruff demeanor that made some afraid of her. I found her blunt, but wonderfully warm and a fount of wisdom. We spent many hours talking theory and philosophy, politics and newly read books. She kept up on new theory and was able to supervise from experience in nearly any theoretical model her supervisees were trying, but her primary orientation was psychodynamic, with lots of Transactional Analysis. I liked most about her that she never told us what to do, she asked what we were doing, what we would like to do, and then would offer ideas, but only as suggestions, never as orders. She was firm in her stance that we needed to develop our own styles and unless she thought harm would come, she never interfered with our therapy, only guided.

I feel so very fortunate to have encountered her and had the opportunity to be her pupil and her friend. I'm glad whatever took her was quick and she was busy and happy right up to the end.

I don't like that she's gone though. As a matter of fact, I still can't really even grock the concept.

RIP J... you will be sorely missed.