Back from the doc today and learned that my labs were all excellent and I did not manage to fry my kidney or liver when I overdosed a couple of weeks ago. Still having dizzy spells, but less often and they are less acute. She says this may last 6 to 8 weeks. Joy... today is 2 weeks. Oh well, I can drive again and as long as I know it will get better I'm ok with it. She says it's likely related to cerebral hypertension.
Posted a bunch of whiny stuff about the APPIC application procedure, but then deleted it. Hell, I'm even tired of myself at this point. Suffice it to say that I am still very much in it; have made a bunch of niggling mistakes and a couple of serious boners and there's not a thing I can do about the ones that are gone. Forward MARCH! Big batch going out in the morning and then 5 to go that are December deadlines. At this point I'm not sure I care if I get anything. Maybe life would be easier if I didn't have to interview all through January anyway. Then again, I don't really want to go through this all over again in March for CAPIC so I'll keep hoping. Mostly I want the ordeal to be over is all.
Got my first "binuclear family" therapy case going on and while this always looked so cool on the videos, the prospect of sitting with two couples out to eviscerate each other is making me want to flee for the hills! Another case of thinking it wouldn't be so bad if they all decided to cancel. It's odd, one session after another of couples and family therapy has been going fine and yet I still feel terrified of the whole idea. I'm not sure this is for me after all. But then when I work with seriously fucked up families (i.e. people incarcerated, abusing their kids and each other, using every which drug etc) I love it! Maybe I should just avoid working with normal people and stay in the criminal justice arena. I'm thinking it has to do with delayed adolescence. I work well with adolescents, so overgrown, married adolescents are fine, but actual GROWN UP couples are a whole different thing!
And then there's school... somewhere in all this I have homework and shit due. It's gonna bury me in a week or two, but for now I'm just dissociating and staying on the application trail or I think I might lose my whole mind.
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2 comments:
I prefer working with fucked up people more than normal people. All my "normal" people have too much time to gut each other, whereas the fucked up people are too busy simply surviving! Glad you are surviving. I'm sinking under a massive workload, but every time I visit your blog I remember grad school and I shudder.
Ooo, happy problems! An overload of work has to be better than picking your nose in quiet desperation. So I guess paying those loans back is doable after all?
Wow... hard to believe that not so long ago you were facing the steep slopes of Education Mountain and here you are way the hell down the range swinging expertly from your piton.
Gotta wonder what we're thinking though... we go through all this grad school hell only to be insanely busy after we're done?
If you will POST something on your own site, then I could ask you properly how Jenny is treating you these days. :)
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