It's Over.

It's been one whole day and I'm still buzzing like a tuning fork from 9 weeks of stress. No, really it's more like however many days it's been since the first week of October when this academic year started. I don't recall any of my breaks being relaxing.

Thursday we had a big send-off party for the third years since they're all on their way to internships. It turned out to be much harder to say goodbye than any of us expected. Then Friday I went out with a big group of (now) 3rd and 4th years for lunch and more goodbyes. Waaaaah!!! When it hit me that all my favorite leaders and supporters were leaving I actually felt like I might fall over; like a toddler standing unsupported for the first time. How odd... I didn't realize how much I looked up to those people ahead of me until then! Now how in the hell can I even pretend to e a leader and mentor to the classes behind me when I feel so completely lost?

This may sound weird to my readers, but you see this is a brand new program, so I'm not just going along a well worn path in a ritual that thousands at this university have followed before me. I am in the second class EVER in this program. Many changes were made as a result of what we learned from the year ahead of me, and more will doubtless be made based on my cohort's experience. Being the main leader person in our tiny cohort I feel particularly exposed just now. I can't even imagine how they must have felt and must be feeling, as the pioneers.

I haven't set up my new practicum yet. I'll go up there Wednesday and see to that. Doubtless the acceptance procedure will take a bit. It's only a formality as I've worked there before and they like me, but the Clinical Committee will still have to interview me and have a meeting and all that jazz. Which means I will have only two days a week of practicum and NOTHING ELSE until this comes through. I opted to have my Comps e-mailed to me on July 1st, so I have two weeks before I will even have to think about that, and one month from then to complete the questions. I plan to give myself a whole two weeks off with no internship application work, no dissertation work, no nada!

My dad is having back surgery on the 19th, so I'll take the following Monday and Tuesday off in case I need to be out with my folks longer than expected. That trip won't be a thrill, but at least it's not school.

Now if only I could manage to FEEL done, I'd be golden. How long does it take for this student shit to wear off, anyway? Guess I'll slip a little more meditation into my days and see if I can clean out the residue. =)