Parents

Well no relaxation to speak of so far. I worked on taxes (filed an extension in April) over the weekend, worked Monday and Tuesday at my practicum and today I'm packing to leave for Nevada to meet my sister and help get my parents through Dad's back surgery. Dad has been a prick of late-nothing new-so I'm not in much of a mood to go help him with anything. Will do this for Mom and to help L (sister).

It's feeling along like Spring "break" right now, where the moment I got out of school I launched into catching up on stuff at home and work, then spent the rest of the break not so happily with my family and went back to school. I think I managed like two days of actual relaxation. This time though I have the summer ahead when I come home again. And even though I have tons to do, it's at least a change. I'm going to try to build in a day each week for actual ME time, to spend with mu husband, pets and just enjoying myself. If I don't get the self care thing built in I don't know how I'll survive third year!

So I'm dragging my ass around the house because I really, really, REALLY don't want to go on this trip. I feel so badly for AR, who after supporting me through everything and waiting patiently for school to be over, is once more taking a back seat to other things in my life. Not good...

Getting old sucks. I don't blame anyone for being old or needing help, but dammit, if you get in that spot at least make it as easy as possible for your loved ones to help you. And BE NICE!!!

On an up note, I just finished my first complete neuropsych battery and it turned out to be an absolutely fascinating case! Still pretty shaky on scoring the Rey figure, but at least now I've done it. And OH MY GOD, Color Word Interference on the D-KEFS is hands down the most miserable test to both administer and take, in the world! I'm thanking my lucky stars that my client's frustration tolerance was sturdy. That was good information too, since it was essentially one of the referral questions. I can see why this subtest is not administered in some settings. Just too good an excuse to strangle someone!

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UPDATE

Dad's surgery went well. He's home now and quite mobile but in a fair amount of pain. It's post surgical pain though and the pain he went in for is gone. Yippee!

Mom on the other hand, is not so great. She's gone downhill badly even since the RV trip at spring break. We had multiple disasterous incontinence episodes with her yesterday and today. She also managed to lock my sister, L, and the cleaning people out of the house. No amount of pounding could get her to come to the door and in the end they had to call the house phone from a cell phone. It still took a long time for her to come to the door, and when she did she told L that she had to go put some pants on before she could open the door (she'd been about to shower)... only she hadn't! She was in her undies. AKK!!

Tomorrow we're having lunch at a progressive care facility and getting a tour. Tonight L and I bought Mom a nice new cane and a box of Depends. We removed all her underwear from her drawer and replaced them with the diapers so she'll have no choice but to wear them when she gets up. I dread the morning when she discovers our subterfuge. We're going to insist she use the walker I bought her three years ago when we go out tomorrow, too. This is the first time we've ever forced anything on either of them. Dad promised he would back us up and follow through after we play the bad guys up front. I still hate everything about the situation, but I hate it less than having her make these awful messes everywhere and then insist it's just a fluke and deny she has a problem.

On the up side the house cleaners did a fabulous job and the house is livable again. As a result L and I can stay here (the deal is we won't stay unless they hire professional housecleaners to make the place livable) and we don't have to add the strain of hotel separations. Whether Dad will promptly fire them again when we go is yet to be seen. This is the third time we've set up a crew for him.

I know there are going to be at least one or two more trips before they're where they need to be, but I desparately don't want to come back here. I want to be done with the stress and pain of this transition and I want to get on with my life without having to feel guilty all the time that I'm neglecting my parents in some way.

Phyllis Diller was right... getting old's not for wimps!