I read on Didi's post her comment about blocking her ex from her FaceBook account and how big a step that was. I'm having some of the same feelings about FB, though I don't have anyone really harassing me or anything. I just have a hell of a time saying no to people who make friend requests when I know I'm going to continue seeing them on everyone else's walls. There's been this huge rush of friends from grade school through high school on there and of course the wave spreads fast. I now have a woman whom I barely knew in High School asking me to accept her 'best friend' application and yammering endlessly at me, pressing me for info about myself and other friends who are not on FB. I am now remembering that she was a little on the gluey side all those years ago, but glommed onto a friend of mine, not me.
Then there is the Close Relative with whom I have a strained relationship, but he's part of my family and THEY are all on there, so what would happen if I blocked this person?
And then there is the ex-boss who I may still hit up for recommendations but do not work for her and felt weird right from the start accepting her as a friend... but what do you do in that case?
I've learned to block applications and that makes life sane over there, but I'm really wanting to prune down my friends list too. Is there an etiquette book somewhere about this. Maybe an 'ask so and so" column?
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The person will not know if you delete them from your friends list.
So why not prune and if someone asks you can pretend you had no idea, blame it on the technology.
You'll just have to make sure not to delete people who contact you all the time because you'll have to add them back pretty quickly.
Well that's the thing... the people I want most to delete post copiously on my wall, which is why I want them gone. For everyone else I love the 'blame it on the technology' though though. LOL! Great idea!
It's a good heads up with respect to the family member. I should have a face to face discussion about being respectful and not baiting me for entertainment. Ignoring that when it happens is probably better than banning the person, since it might result in actual behavior change. Mine AND his! For an MFT and an almost psychologist I sure do loathe confrontation. Pooh.
I only have friends on my list, and a handful of others that I hang out with when I'm in town. Everyone else gets rejected.
I have a handful of cousins (all on restricted access), though everyone else gets rejected....as I made a choice to remove them from my life. They still send invites, as healthy boundaries don't exist in their minds.
The recent problems with my ex were the first time that I've been harassed on Facebook -- usually when people I barely remember add me, I approve the request and hide them from my news feed, then I never hear from them again.
I've found that older people tend to be the worst at Facebook etiquette. My friends from college are very conscious of how they appear on social networking sites and play it cool, while some of my older friends overshare, add every damn application, and post unwanted crap on other people's walls. I think it's because younger people have grown up online and they have an intuitive sense about these things... that's over-generalizing of course, as some young people can be very annoying! But I do think some people just don't know to behave online.
The hiding people from my news feed has helped a bunch and then blocking 3/4 of the apps has helped even more.
Thanks for all these great tips! I find evolving culture a fascinating topic. I tend to see the same trends, Didi, younger people with better etiquette. The worst seem to be those who are using FB as a substitute for real world activities. One friend is disabled, so plays apps all day and another whose husband is dying of cancer and uses FB as an escape. I've tried to suggest a few good online MMORPGs where people are there because they WANT to play games, but the investment is off-putting for them.
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