Trying to stay calm

So this last week isn't going well. I am beyond overloaded and still having problems concentrating. Yesterday I called a classmate for clarification on an assignment and she was so spun I almost hung up on her. I wasn't exactly in a happy place myself so when I realized I was shaking, my ears were ringing and I was about to either cry or get violent with my pets and husband for the crime of breathing in my vicinity I finally broke down and took an Atavan. I've had them since the panic attack last December but never taken one. Seemed to work well just knowing I could if I had to.

I suppose the fact that I didn't blow a gasket means it was a good thing to have taken the nearly microscopic pill, but within an hour I was utterly drugged and good for nothing. Anti anxiety my ass, for me it was pure sedative so I was groggy, slurring my speech and no way in hell could I string to words together into even a phrase, let alone a sentence!

I slept all the way through thenight, which was supposed to be an all-nighter to pull me out of this hole. I'm still feeling drugged this morning even at the tail end of the pill's potency. At least the next two days are light, practicum wise, but I still can't see getting all this done. Three of my four assignments involve presenting, so there's no way to be late on them. The one that doesn't involves a prof who is as flexible as cement and isn't going to take into account that his instructions and materials were woefully inadequate.

I can feel the panic swirling somewhere just behind my head and neck, but I can't take another Ativan, that's for damned sure. Just going to have to breathe and go for a triple latte when I get to town.

Why do all my pets get intensely demanding exactly when I can't spend even a nanosecond with them? The birds scream, the cats wail... even the fish start spitting rocks at the side of the tank. My husband feeds and plays with all of them, so why do they need ME so much?

Someone send me a time warp...