Drowning!!!

Ok, so just two more weeks to go and it's over. This term has been really hard on me. It's weird, because it's really been less work than the last term, but all my teachers are so vague about their assignments that I am in a constant state of anxiety wondering if I caught everything and always feeling as if I'm missing some enormous project somehow.

My Law and Ethics prof was sick two weeks ago, so I sent in my homework via e-mail. That included a Stipulation and a draft of the Working and Procedural Manual he wants us to write dealing with APA ethical codes. He responded, "looks good" to that so I thought I was golden. Then the next week I was sick and missed his class, so sent him an update on my manual showing I had done the work. No reply. Then last week he asked about what we were writing and I told him I'd sent him mine already. He didn't seem to recall seeing it and when I described my work he said that was the wrong approach and gave me new instructions. Ok, so I redid the whole stinking thing this week, which I thought I had finished last week, and tonight in class he told me it is STILL not right. Grrr.... why the hell couldn't he have told me this three weeks ago when I sent it the first time??? Pissess me off.

One of my other instructors is just a scattered mess, though she's brilliant and the class is fascinating. She's constantly mumbling last moment assignments when everyone is packing up to go home and sometimes the whole class isn't even present. Needless to say there is constant confusion about what is due and when. I heard that she had a terrible trauma over winter break, so perhaps that has something to do with her confusion. Her ability to make the class fun and the amount I am learning make me prone to forgive her, and I seem to be doing ok, despite being anxious all the time.

I've been giving the WAIS III right and left and LOVE it! With the neuropsychological interpretations she is teaching us it's far more interesting and useful than I imagined it would be. I did the WISC IV on my neighbor's son this week, so owe the family pizza on Saturday. :)

Totally forgot to bring the kit with me to school today though, thanks to this stinking head and chest cold I have, and I was supposed to pass it on to other people, too. Thankfully a classmate will be up my way over the weekend and I can give it to her, so won't have to have my husband overnight it tomorrow. I managed to be half an hour late getting out today and then blew right through town and out the other side I was in such a fog. After all that I was nearly an hour late to class. Sigh. I've been late to every one of that teacher's classes because hers is the first of the week and because I don't have to leave until noon, I always get caught up in something and lose track of the time. I'm surprised to hear myself say (watch myself type?) that next term I'll be glad to get back to 9am instead of 2pm! Anyway, I have no clue how I'm doing in her class (another one with no clear idea what the hell I'm supposed to be doing) and I hope my perpetual tardiness won't damage my grades. C'est la vie, I can hardly change it now!

Our cohort seems to be doing a little better, but I think it's just an uneasy truce. We are losing one for sure and most likely two. Then again there is a woman from the second year cohort who has had to go part time because of personal problems so she may join us next year, and another one from that cohort also told me last week that he may take a year off and drop back with us. The infusion would be good for us, and both of them are significantly more mature than many of our existing group, so that's got to help I'd think. In the mean time I try to keep my head down and always be the reframe queen if people grouse in my presence. Seems to be a workable strategy as nobody seems to be snubbing me anymore. I've detached myself from the woman who was clinging so tightly to me and after a week or two of acting rejected she has rallied and seems to be accepting the boundaries I've set. I just want to get through all this mentally intact, so I'm not going to fret about pleasing everyone all the time. It's good practise for me to set clearer boundaries, so I suppose it's just a part of the educational process. I suspect our respective behavior in the cohort subtley wends its way into our evals in each class, so I try to keep my halo straight. Sigh.

Ok, off to bed so I will have at least a few functional brain cells for tomorrow's classes!

Two more weeks... two more weeks... two more weeks...